The handy man electrocuted himself this morning at my house and I can’t come in because my dog witnessed this and is having an anxiety attack. (Note: no mention of whether the guy was ok. Just how disturbing it was for her dog
I can’t come in to work today because I died last night.
She was arrested for hiring a hit man to shoot her husband (True story)
I had an employee call and say they could not come in because the night before they wore skinny jeans and had a rash. Apparently, his pants were too tight.
I got shot by my sister’s boyfriend.
An employee arrived for work 3 hours later than the time they were scheduled to attend and their reason for missing 3 hours work was that they had had a heart attack just before they were about to come to work. When asked about the speedy recovery the employee says he “breathed through it” and was fine a few hours later.
My house is haunted. Last night the ghost locked all of the doors then hid my car keys and cell phone.